Bistro Guillaume Monday May 18th 2015
What a joy it is to go to a fine dining experience. The anticipation and the preparation all makes for an event. We treat ourselves about three or four times a year to a supposedly better quality restaurant.
Booking for a table three at 7pm via the phone was easy and the staff member was friendly. We received a confirmation sms the day before our reservation. This type of confirmation has become standard for restaurants to ensure they maximise their attendances.
We arrived and twice I had to repeat my name and spell it slowly. I said my surname first as that was how I made the booking. Then I said my first name to clarify. Heaven forbid if there was another attending this restaurant with my unusual surname. A little hiccup is understandable.
We were shown to our table by the window overlooking the Yarra River and towards the Melbourne Aquarium. The waitress offered to take our companion's coat.
The table had butcher's paper covering the white linen. My partner pointed out a few stains on the butcher's paper. I went to the loo and was staggered that the men's had two cubicles rather than a urinal. It makes for options if they have an all female function I guess.
A pleasant Indian waiter asked if we wanted table or mineral water. We requested mineral water.
We were given the menus and I had to ask if they had a wine menu. The waitress repeated and asked "did we want the wine list?" Hello - we are not bogans and are dressed up and I felt patronised - alarm bells began ringing. You normally get asked if you would like a drink to start.
We checked out the menu while we waited for the wine list. Thankfully we had also prepared by reading the menu online as well as having eaten at the Sydney Opera House when Guillaume presided we knew his high standards.
We were not told the specials by the waitress and struggled to read them from our table. We called the waitress over and she said "I have to seat these people and I will be with you in a moment." We waited and then she came over and went through the specials without any salesmanship. We ordered a bottle of $55 white wine as only two of us were drinking.
The wine arrived and she asked if I wanted to taste it. Of course I did that is protocol and you want to ensure it is not off.
Later we wanted to clarify a few items on the menu and this time she said "I told you I have to set the table and then I'll be with you in a moment." MMMMMMMMMM Alarm bells are ringing louder and more frequently now.
As this was happening I looked out the window thinking I was looking at a reflection of my two companions. I was startled that two people were sitting flush against the window and it was so off putting. Why not stagger the outside tables to between the spaces of the inside tables. There was no privacy. The people outside had the same feeling by the expression on their faces.
We had to call the waitress over again to order. We had been left for dead. We should have walked out. We were totally ignored and the restaurant was only about one third to half full. Heaven forbid when they have capacity seating!
We decided upon the chicken and told our friend about the famous Paris mash. We suggested to our friend who is a small eater that she could try some of our mash. We ordered our meals.
I ordered the entrée of Twice baked souffle with Roquefort sauce with a delicious salad on the side. My friends had the beetroot tart that they said was equally delicious.
Our main courses came. I had the Half a roasted chicken with Parish mash as did my partner. Our friend ordered the Braised rabbit with white wine and mustard seed.
It was only because of our suggestion to say to our friend that our dishes came with the mash that our friend changed her mind to order the fries to share. The waitress did not say the Rabbit came with the mash during the attempt at an enticing sales pitch. Thankfully our friend had changed her mind to order the fries as her Rabbit came with mash.
The potential for a good tip was slipping quickly. It was a matter of whether there would be a tip at all.
The meals were delicious but the service now became the constant ringing alarm bells. We started to really discuss her dismissive attitude and lack of service.
We did order desert and had contemplated not doing so. It was unsaid that we would not be returning and thought we may as well try the desert to see if there was a redeeming feature. Nor were we tempted, let alone even offered the dessert wine menu. My quote is "To be offered is honourable, to be made to ask is demeaning, manipulative and humiliating." Please do not assume that because we had a $55 bottle of white wine that we would not splurge on our favourite dessert wine! Not to be - we would use our money to buy one elsewhere.
Sadly the Apple tarte tartin was a poor cousin to what we have had elsewhere. There was a lack of caramelised glaze and was a basic apple pie. It did not have the theatricality we have experienced of being delivered with fanfare and presented upside onto the plate.
My Fruit sorbet was sublime, comprising apple, mango and raspberry flavours, and was presented in a cone glass dish placed on top of another glass bowl. The presentation was simple and stylish.
My partner requested the bill. I put my credit card inside the folder as there was no pen inside as credit cards only accept PIN now. The waitress came back with the portable EFTPOS machine and I was nearly tempted not to put in a tip at all. I rounded it up with about $21 tip for a $329 meal for three as the service was awful. She asked if I wanted the receipt and I said "yes." The receipt was delivered and she requested that I sign also. I did not use my banking background to protest as I just wanted to be away from her. She did not mention getting our friend's coat nor was there any farewell greeting let alone a thank you.
Our friend retrieved her coat from around the corner and no one farewelled us let alone opened the door. That may appear too much to open the door to farewell a guest but when you know how fondly we were treated at the Sydney Opera House or Rockpool or Vue due Monde or Les Restaurant and other fine dining restaurants, you know how we were treated with such disdain.
Overall the food was very good except for the Apple tart tartin. The service was awful (as if you had to be told!)
